I fell into a perfectionism hole again which means I allowed shame to fill my thoughts until I froze. I'm glad I'm recognizing this quicker and am building up my shame resilience (Brené Brown). I'm not making excuses for myself, I am simply recognizing patterns, and November and December are HUGE trigger points for me. If I could, I would skip them altogether. I cannot so I'm working on extra self care and healthy coping skills like making these inspirational memes. I use pho

Becoming the Hero, Written Series* In which I find the voice of pain that yearned to be listened to, and plead with the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to enact changes that will protect victims of violence and prevent instances of violence in the future. *Please note that this was an incredibly emotional letter to write. I had to reopen many wounds and as such, missed a lot of minor grammatical and spelling errors. I read through it multiple times

Becoming the Hero, Written Series So, yesterday was huge. Not alternative fact, yuge. Life altering huge. I mulled over my words and actions for about a week and acted on them yesterday. That means that during that period I was living in constant vulnerability. I had to get to the place that I could act with love and kindness which means I was raw and exposed. I am learning to be shame resilient. (Brené Brown) Between the necessity to get tremendously vulnerable and some inte

Becoming the Hero, Written Series Do you know what it's like not to own your own body? To have family members and a family friend violate your body before you had even an inkling of what sex was? To have urges and desires brought forth that adults tried to drown in shame without ever understanding why you were bad? To have young boys use your body to explore their own budding masculinity and have it terrify you? To be tackled, kissed, groped, chased, and then quickly discarde

Becoming the Hero, Written Series I've been thinking about this almost non stop for the last year or so when fiancé and I got together. As a survivor of DV I had my walls up high and they were fortified beyond belief. Looking around I see this happen to a lot of us. Domestic Violence (abuse) doesn't need to be involved for this to happen. One too many rejections or any variety of toxic relationship will do it. This isn't a gendered issue either. I've spoken with many friends,

Becoming the Hero, Written Series I remember my doodles from childhood and wish beyond almost anything that I still had some of them. My art wasn't nurtured and I ended up ashamed of it. For several decades I longed to try again yet lacked the courage. Thankfully, that changed. While my visual art is where I am most raw, I cannot always live in that space. If you know me, you know I was also born with the gift of gab. I'm not shy with my opinions or ideas. My thirst for knowl