I might have figured something out. The reason people tell me I'm "paranoid," "need to calm down," "need to trust," "have faith," or "let it go" when I ask questions has nothing to do with ME. Nothing. I'm not stupid or missing something. (Well, not in the instances I'm thinking about at least. I do miss a lot of stuff being human and all.) I'm certainly not paranoid. If anything I'm not allowing myself to be scared and angry enough. I naturally come with a desire to get to t

It is tough to process and come to grips with the fact that I am never going to be perfect and that is absolutely okay and expected. I am not always likable. I am fallible and can be downright nasty at times. With the exception of those who choose not to embrace their humanity and grow from their mistakes, this is what it means to be human. To be flawed, messy, vulnerable, kind, mean, loving, horrible... All of it. Everything. Undoing the harmful teachings and conditioning th

The attached article came across my feed today and it was the validation I needed in the midst of life's chaos. I have three sons and my goal as their mom has been to raise three self sufficient, loving, and kind men. Men who recognize and rebuff toxic behavior and thought patterns within themselves and the world around them. Being a parent is difficult. Reminders that we are on the right path are priceless. I let my love for my children guide today's images and self care. Ho

Becoming the Hero, Written Series Once a month I do an art workshop at the local domestic and sexual violence crisis center. It is the crisis center that helped me as I decided to leave my abusive marriage. I am incredibly fortunate to be able to return as a survivor and share empathy, understanding, and some skills that help me navigate life after abuse. I take some of my pieces and share my process of healing through art; inviting the workshop members to find the tools that

Becoming the Hero, Written Series So, yesterday was huge. Not alternative fact, yuge. Life altering huge. I mulled over my words and actions for about a week and acted on them yesterday. That means that during that period I was living in constant vulnerability. I had to get to the place that I could act with love and kindness which means I was raw and exposed. I am learning to be shame resilient. (Brené Brown) Between the necessity to get tremendously vulnerable and some inte

Not in a predator eats prey kind of way. "Nants ingonyama bagithi baba..." (The Lion King) No. The process of learning, which for me, is life. These are "sketches" done several years ago as I was attempting to portray how I envisioned my healing and growth after decades of stagnation. They were done on separate sheets of canvas and are meant to be connected to form a loop. The dragon's quest for knowledge breathing fire into the heart; whose blazing love causes the phoenix to

PTSD has hit hard within the last week or so. I'm not ready to paint. Sometimes when an episode hits I can't paint. Painting seems to be my final step in healing. Thankfully, my emotions let me sketch. I may not feel 100%, yet I do feel some relief purging these. These sketches needed to be released from my body. Wanting to be "Invisible," "Confusion," and "Nothing" are the symptoms du jour. New additions to the "Aftermath" series. #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #healingthroughart #hero