My friend says my paintings scare her. My response: "How do you think they make me feel? I live with this." *TRIGGER WARNING. Sexual Assault, Rape, Domestic Violence, PTSD. ** I've deleted and rewritten this post several times. In my head and physically. There really are no words to eloquently express how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. A string of expletives, while closer, would still be lacking. Hence, the paintings. Even they aren't enough. I've seen many depictions of

"If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle with others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself." Nikita Gill I spent at least a solid year alone on the shore before even touching my toe to the water. Waded in but kept close enough to the shore that my feet still touched the ground and I could escape at a moment's notice. Playing in the waves and learning their ebb and flow. My head going under only when I chose for it to do so. Wat

Last year I made a vision wall. My head was swimming with so many goals and ideas that a board wouldn't hold it. So I filled a wall. I decided to add relationship goals. I didn't list any physical attributes of my future partner. No social standings, job, etc. I described how I wanted to feel in the relationship. Words like: safe, comfortable, free, stable, joy, passion, etc. Then out of the blue Bear showed up. We both knew something explosive was at hand but assumed it was