No Room for Food
Updated: Jun 3, 2020
I'm still unable to paint. That's okay. Not great. Okay. It's where I am, and where I am simply is.
While reading this morning I was taken aback by someone's honest description of their struggle with bulimia. It was a well timed jolt. I checked with my body and realized I had slipped in to my own form of disordered eating. I do not have bulimia or anorexia. I do not binge, purge, or have the 'typical' versions of the better known eating disorders.
I do have unhealthy eating habits. With the upswing in extreme stress over the last year I lost sight of self care. What that looks like is eating my feelings. For others that is over eating. Eating in order to not feel. For me, it's as if my stomach is filled with my emotions leaving no room for actual food or drink. I can go days without a full meal. I live in an almost constant state of nausea. That, of course, leaves me exhausted. It's hard to be fully present with myself and others when my body is struggling to maintain basic functions.
I'm glad I recognized this today so that I can be focused on lovingly sitting with my emotions and feeding my beautiful body. I made a commitment to myself to be present with my emotions. I also made a commitment to love and care for my physical body. I forgive myself for neglecting my emotions and body, and recommit to self care.
If you have neglected self care please check in with your body, mind, and emotional being, and recommit to making your health a priority. We slip up. It's part of learning. We can all use an extra dose of love right now. That love starts with you and me.